


I wasn't looking when I met you

by ks_darkstorm



Series: 'Looking' Patrick/Kevin [1]
Category: Looking (TV)
Genre: Coda, Fluff and Angst, Internal Conflict, M/M, might be continued, season filler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 10:40:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3131555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ks_darkstorm/pseuds/ks_darkstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He hadn't had contact with Kevin since it happened, not one word or text since, and that had been almost two full days ago. The word around the office was that he was out sick but Patrick knew internally that it was because of what had transpired between them the other night.</p><p> </p><p>Takes place after s01e08</p>
            </blockquote>





	I wasn't looking when I met you

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so quick confession, I haven't actually seen Looking but I have watched the Kevin/Patrick storyline because Russell Tovey is my man. I do plan on watching the whole series before season two comes out though. I am also from Scotland (UK) so if it doesn't sound very American and out of character I apologise. It's also not been beta read so all mistakes are mine. I might write a continuation of this, something a little more explicit but we'll see. Hope you like it!

He hadn't had contact with Kevin since it happened, not one word or text since, and that had been almost two full days ago. The word around the office was that he was out sick but Patrick knew internally that it was because of what had transpired between them the other night.

  
He couldn't get the images out from his head, could still almost taste the other mans breath on his tongue, the way their bodies had become one. He had never felt anything as amazing in his life, even as it caused his stomach to burn in shame.

He had slept with his boss, a boss who was attached and who had been in a serious relationship for over two years. A boss who had a boyfriend who obviously loved him and moved across the country for him. What had he been thinking?

The truth was that he hadn't been, he had tried so hard not to think, not to feel anything other than the pleasure he got from the other man. The same feeling of want from the first night they had met had only grown stronger, having passed purely physical attraction some time ago, and if Patrick was being honest with himself he had always wanted it to happen.

_"I can’t seem to stop thinking about you and it’s becoming a real fucking problem."_

Patrick had not stopped thinking about those words since they had been uttered. He slept them, whispered them aloud to himself, tried to convince himself that they had been truthful. What would happen now? Would Kevin leave his boyfriend?

Patrick had his doubts but then again when did he never? Would Kevin even want to try to pursue something even if they did break up?  


This was beginning to mess with his head. Patrick felt another pounding headache begin to build behind his eyes and he swept a hand across his face, screwing his eyes closed in a grimace. Nothing in this whole situation, this whole mess was okay and Patrick couldn't stop thinking.

_"Do you know how much effort it takes to be around you every day?"_

He glances up from his desk, gaze staring unfocused towards the corner of the room where it had all happened.

_"It takes all of my willpower not to lunge and kiss the fucken shit out of you and I can't seem to stop..."_

Patrick had tried to stop it right? He had said the words that would make most people stop, the 'you have a boyfriend' hanging heavy between them in the room, the only reply being a soft 'yeah' and a desperate begging not to go, to just stay 'please'. And that had been him, caught so easily in this mess, this terrifyingly beautiful mess.

"Patrick I'm heading home now, turn the lights off when you leave yeah?"

He startles from his thoughts, looks over at Maggie as she glances at him strangely from the exit.

"You looked miles away there, maybe you should call it a day too?"

He looks at the time on his computer screen, tired eyes taking a while to adjust without his glasses.

7.15. When had it gotten so late?

"Wow I didn't even realize the time, thanks Maggie I think I will head home."

He smiles at her reassuringly, it feels fake on his face but she seems to buy it easily enough and is gone in a matter of moments, glass doors shutting softly behind her.

And then he's alone again, with nothing but his thoughts for company.

Fuck this shit. He needs a drink and he needs one now.

He shuts off his computer without a seconds thought, not even checking to see if everything had saved before hand. He could deal with this all on Monday, now all that mattered was getting to the nearest bar and not leaving till Sunday.

Bag in hand and coat over his arm he is almost at the exit when he sees him.

"Hey."

And that's it, two days of silence reduced to one simple hey. Patrick doesn't say anything in return, can do nothing but glare at the other man as he feels the anger build up steadily inside him. This stupid fucken man, how dare he do this, how dare he put this all on him and then just leave for two days.

"I'm sorry, I know you're probably pretty bloody pissed but can you just let me explain?"

Patrick can't do this again, can't listen to the empty lies that fall from those pretty lips, he can't allow himself to fall back into this trap, not when he knows that the next time will lose him for good.

He makes to move past the other man, arms brushing briefly and he feels a hand reach out to grab him, the pressure sure and strong and unyielding.

"Please Patrick just listen..."

"No! I'm not going to listen to this again, fuck! You haven't even text or called? My heads been spinning the past two days and you've left me to deal with it myself! What we did was wrong, what you did was worse. I can't deal with this, I just can't Kevin. Go home to your boyfriend, I am so done."

He pulls out of the strong grip, surprised he could even find the strength and is almost out the door when the next words stop him dead.

"I left him, fuck I left him okay? I've spent the past two days dealing with the fallout. I'm sorry for not getting in contact but I honestly wasn't thinking past the fact that I am a total shit."

Patrick turns round, eyes taking in Kevin appearance for the first time that night. He notices the dark circles under the other man’s eyes, the way his shoulders are slumped. He looks exhausted.

"Because of us?"

Kevin bites his lip, eyes trained on the floor as he replies.

"Yes. And no. We have had a few problems for a while, they have steadily built up and after that night with you, I just couldn't pretend anymore. I couldn't pretend I was happy with him when I have never felt the same way with him in our two years together than I did with you that night."

Patrick feels his breath hitch, his arms going slack as he allows his bag and coat to slip softly to the ground. And in two steps he is right there, arms held tightly around Kevin even as the other man crumbles against him, breath hot against his neck.

"It'll be okay, somehow it'll be okay."

He whispers the words into Kevin ear, lips teasing at the shell.

"I'm so sorry."

The words whisper back at him, Kevin's voice is harsh and broken and filled with so much pain that Patrick can't bear it. There are no words left in either of them, not right at this moment. Kevin's arms wrapped around his hips, fingers digging into the skin almost enough to bruise.

There is no space left between them, each inch pressed tightly together as they hold each other. He doesn't know if this is the start of something, all he knows is that he doesn't want to let Kevin go yet. There is time to talk later, maybe they will go get take out, bring it back to his and talk out their next steps. Maybe there will be no more words tonight and they will just hold each other, bodies moving as one in a vast exchange of comfort.

Patrick doesn't know, but right now, with Kevin in his arms and lips trailing against his cheek, right now this is enough.


End file.
